You should know, the day after I wrote my story about chaos, I decided to buy a small notebook. Not for the use of organizing myself, no, I bought it because I think too many ideas escape from my mind. When I'm walking on the streets I sometimes think of stuff that I want to write about. Despite the fact that I try to remember the subjects, I usually forget them after 5 minutes. Then, when I start writing, I sometimes get frustrated because I know I had this great idea, but I just can't remember it anymore. So, now I've bought my notebook I can write them down and tell you all about what I think of themes that ran through my mind.

At this point there are just two things in there: 'How do we look back on ourselves in twenty years?' and 'How would it be to be back in Holland?' Two questions of which I do not know the answer. But I'll find the answer to one of them pretty fast. I'm saying here that I'll be in Holland between December 21st and January 6th.

But how would it be to be back in Holland? I have to be honest, at this point I can't imagine going anywhere outside of Italy. Not even going back to Holland. Of course, I'm missing a lot of Dutch things around here. I miss the cheese, the diverse variations of stamppot, the fact that I'm going to miss the sinterklaas madness that will start next Saturday. But I have to be honest, I think it will be quite strange to see my friends again. Friends that I've met in high-school and that helped me get through some stuff. It will be strange to see them for two weeks, and then say goodbye again. But it will be a lot of fun as well. So I'm basically looking forward to get to Holland for a short holiday.

I sometimes wonder how I'll remember these months outside of Holland in twenty years. I think I'll remember them as amazing. So far it's been a period in which I met amazing people, people who dare to dream and want to follow them. People who, just as I do, are developing themselves and who are open to new things in life. But I'll also remember it as a period in which I learned a lot about myself, and in which I started to appreciate doing some writing.

I think I learned a lot about myself because I've met so many people around here. Every time you meet somebody with who you'll spend a lot of time, you are introducing yourself in a slightly different way than usual. People want to know things about you and you want to know things about them. That makes that you start asking different questions. As an example: What did you do in your life of which you're proud of? My answer is often that I'm proud of the fact that I helped make the 'didjeridus' to what it is right now. It's nice to start building on a project with a couple of people and give it a (new) life. Because when I started doing 'didjeridus' nobody really read it, and there was no redaction team. By now there is a vibrant team working on it and a lot of people are reading it. Another thing of which I'm proud of is that I was part of developing the school baseball tournament in Leusden. It started off as an idea of a father in the club and group of volunteers of which I was part made it possible to realize the idea. This made that the popularity of baseball in Leusden has slightly risen, because last year (the second year) the club was already working at a 90% capacity because of all the kids that signed in for the tournament.
I think I'm most proud of projects that I started or contributed in when they were small, that now have become projects that are working on their own.

But how will I look back at myself in twenty years? It's a hard question to answer actually. I think I'll see a boy that was ambitious, but that didn't always pull the trigger at the moment he should have. I'll see a curious boy that wants to travel the world, a boy that is stubborn, but willing to learn. I'm sure that, when I'll see the photo's I'll think: 'Damn, what kind of clothes did we wear back then?'

Talking about how you think you'll look back at this period in twenty years leads also to the opposite question: How do I see myself in twenty years? I hope I've seen a lot of the world by then. I hope I found a nice girlfriend with who I'll have a couple of kids. But where do I see me in twenty years? To be honest, I have no clue. Could be in Holland or somewhere else in the world, though the 'States' don't appeal to much to me.

I think we'll see in twenty years.

I know you guys aren't going to answer this question on the blog; but how would you answer these two questions? It might be interesting to think about them because it can make you realize, that you might want to step up a bit sometimes.

I guess I'll leave you with that thought,

See ya.